One swinging shindig!
by Midori butt-monkey princess
Summary: I AM WRITING MORE, in fact, I'm writing more today!
1. The Arrival

Disclaimer, here goes, I don't own Hogwarts, Harry Potter (starts screaming 'no Harry, down boy down!'), the whole Harry potter idea,anyone who is on T.V.  
  
~The Arrival~  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting in one of the train cars on the way to Hogwarts when Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle strolled in.   
Malfoy:"Well Harry, I see you've been practising looking more and more like a mudblood this summer."*noticing the blue jeans Harry was wearing and his hairdo  
Hermione started grinding her teeth.  
Malfoy: *as he walked out of the train car* "I heard one of the new students this year is over twenty years old and is going to be in fifth year. Now you know you can always come back and retake the potions class over and over and over until you finally get a good grade."   
Hermiones' tooth grinding sound became louder and louder at this point.  
~A few hours later the train finally did come to Hogwarts, as the trio got off they commented on how many new students that there were this year. 


	2. The Feast

The Feast~  
  
Diclaimer: I don't own anything except 'tall girl' until you figure out who she actually is.  
  
Neither Ron, Harry or Hermione thought anything was odd as they were sitting at the Gryffindor table waiting for supper. What they didn't realize was that Professor McGonagal wasn't there, however, Dumbledore announced that she was sick and that he heard it was something to do with a leaky cauldron. The sorting seemed pretty normal until the name of an exceptionally tall girl was called out. Prof. Flitwick was doing the sorting this year.  
Flitwick: "I'm terribly sorry miss- oh I don't know how to pronounce it- is it 'Schwell'?"   
*The tall girl stood up and opened her mouth to reply but at that moment some banging started underneath the head table at Dumbledores' spot. Every student sat, open mouthed as prof. McGonagle got up from under the table and, not noticing all the students started chatting up Dumbledore.  
McGonagal: *Stroking Dumbledores' beard and wiping something off her lip* So I'll see you at ei-*she finally notices all the kids and runs off*  
Dumbledore:*Pointing at remaining five kids* Griffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Griffindor, and Griffindor. *and then he runs into the same side room as McGonagal.  
Harry was begining to think that the tall girl, who was put into Griffindor, really was quite pretty, and he was daydreaming about her when the food appeared but he didn't notice so he sat for five minutes before he realized anything had happened. . Apparently Ron was too, he ended supper by poking his eye with a fork that he was attempting to eat chocolate pudding with. Hermione was also daydreaming, but about reading.  
~Midori: that's no fun!~  
~Andrea:okay, okay...~  
Hermione was also daydreaming about the tall girl but it wasn't half as evident as the two boys'.  
~Andrea: that better?~  
~Midori: *evil grin~  
They finished their supper without saying a word as they stared at the girl. When the two remaining were finished their supper, the slowly made their way up to the dormitories and went their seperate ways.  
  
~Midori: Everyone who reads this better review, I have like, what four other stories with hardly any reviews! *begins to pout*  
~Andrea: Awwwwww, it's okay *hugs Midori and smiles as she tapes a 'slap my arse' sign to Midoris' back* 


	3. The First Class

~The First Class~  
  
*a/n: In case someone's a touch confused: -Yes, this will turn to a lemony lime thing. -I have a split personality, Midori, who is the sick side of me. -No... I'm not TOTALLY insane. -This is my first lemon/lime thing, so I better see some reviews making comments. and yeah, that's about it. Have a blast reading it. Oh, this is the first lemony lime good chapter. And if any of my friends are reading this, sorry i didn't tell you peeps that I was trying to write a lemon. ~On with the story!~  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione look at each other in terror as they realized what their first class was, potions. First thing in the morning, every other day, for the rest of the year, with the Slytherins. It couldn't get much better for Ron who still could only barely open one eye after the supper incident. As the three students walked through the hall to the dungeon, they started complaining, and complaining and complaining until they got to the class. All three of their hearts skipped a beat as they saw the tall girl, who was playing with her long blonde hair, and as they sat down in the back row they had to catch their breath.  
  
Snape entered the room at his usual, puntual timing. He sat as his desk and pulled out a plain brown folder, as he looked over it he mumbled things which no one could quite comprehend. He gave out his usual start of the year speech,  
Snape: My name is Severus Snape, however you will all address me as 'sir' or Professor Snape. I see we have new students and although I can't see how Dumbledore actually accepted exchange students, it was his decision.  
At last he started to call out the names. He was doing quite well for timing, almost finished in a minute.  
Snape: Harry Potter  
Harry: Here *with a look that said he rather wouldn't be* Snape returned the glare almost immediatly.  
Snape: Felicity 'Schweel', I believe that is how Professor Flitwick pronounced it.  
tall girl: *taking off her school robe to reveal a pair of boots that went up past her knees, very short short shorts, and a tight top with a zipper down the front, all in a very rich purple color. "Actually, you can call me Felicity, Felicity Shagwell. And you, sir, have been a very bad teacher, I think I'll have to teach you a lesson or two!" The entire class sat with their jaws just dropped to the floor as Felicity sat down on Snapes' lap and pushed the desk so that her and Snape swivled of into his office at which point Felicity came running out clutching at Snapes' sleeve and she hopped into a cupboard and pulled Snape after her. There was a small clicking soundas the cupboard locked. Harry, Ron and Hermoine all sighed at the same moment as they came to the realization that they didn't have a chance to ever be with Felicity.  
  
For a few awkward monutes the class just sat in silence as the banging (literally, the noise, but that too) got louder and louder until the cupboard door finally gave way and Felicity and Snape came tumbling out revealing some of Snapes' more prized possesions, yet surprisingly, Felicity had all her clothes on. Felicity gave an annoyed sigh as she quite literally dragged Snape into his office to continue her *cough* teaching *cough*. At this point the entire class, including Malfoy who looked incredibly green and Harry, Ron and Hermione who all looked sad, just walked out the door without saying a word. For the hour that they had left, most students went to walk around the halls although Harry, Ron and Hermione stayed and listened to all the screams and moans and groans.  
  
~Andrea:omg, I can't believe I wrote that!  
~Midori:Oh shut up, your always so,... wierd...and difficult!  
~Andrea: Me, difficult! I'm not the split personality here!   
~Midori:that's right, keep thinking you're the original!  
~Andrea:*starts choking Midori* MoHahahahaha!  
  
*don't forget to review! 


	4. The Second Class

A/N:Yay, I can't believe I'm actually continuing writing this story!  
  
I OWN NOTHING... I OWN NEGATIVE MONEY, AND IF ANYONE WANTS THAT, YOU CAN HAVE IT! I don't own anyone in this story, except maybe later on, but I won't tell you who now.  
  
~Andrea: when we last left off, our trio was listening to a wide variety of strange noises coming from Snapes office-  
~Midori: -but by now, they had left the room with broken hearts and went to see how busy the janitors closet was today where a few vampires, people with bionic limbs, scott and I were havi-  
~Andrea: -actually, the ball rang and the went to their next class, which was...   
~Midori:....*grumble*grumble* stupid course...  
~Andrea: what was that?! *grabbing Midori's ear very tightly* Oh that's right, that's the class you failed!  
~Midori: I don't even see why we have to take that class! It's not useful at all in the 'real world'! *gets glare from Andrea* How was I supposed to know that the teachers could go crazy so easily?  
~Andrea: *starts choking Midori* That's right-  
*Midori escapes and starts to run for it, Andrea chases her down  
~on with the story!  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were looking to find a quiet class to 'play' in for a while when the bell rang and they hurried to grab the books that they would need for their next class, defence against the dark arts.  
Hermione grumbled a little about the subject, but she knew that if she skipped, so would Potter, and he needed quite a bit of defence from the dark arts. Harry, Ron and Hermione began to dicuss what they hoped the new teacher would be like as they walked towards the class:  
Harry:I heard it's a girl.  
Ron: I heard she's pretty. *with a daydreaming look all over his face*  
Hermione: *just as Ron walked into a pilar* Get your mind out of your pants and back to reality, Ron!!!!  
It was true, Ron had indeed *cough* popped a tent *cough in his pants, as a matter of fact so did Harry, and so did -Hermione!?!?!  
~Hermione:*pulling a wand out of her pocket*  
~Midori: awwww, that could have opened up so many options!  
  
At last they arrived at the defences class, it was early so they wanted to see what the new teacher was like. They opened the door a crack to peer in, only to reveal an akward scene. Everyone looked just about eighteen or nineteen, there was a short red haired girl who looked about who was sorting out what looked an awful lot like marajuana, a medium heighted dark haired boy who was sitting down watching everything that was taking place in the room, he appeared to have thought of something,  
Dark haired guy: Hey Buff, how much did you say you were getting paid for this?  
*A tall dirty blonde haired girl turned around, she was holding a sword, she had evidently been practicing sword-fighting: Xander, I told you, I'm not getting paid.  
The red haired girl looked up: Hey Xander, we should go to the library soon, leave Buffy to her class.  
A different girl with blonde hair stood up: I'll go to... as long as there isn't any bunnies on the way.  
The dark haired guy(aka. Xander): K, good luck. If anything goes wrong...  
The Drity blonde haired girl(Aka, Buffy): Nothing will go wrong, and if anything does... I'm the slayer, remember, I can handle a class.  
Xander: *sigh* alright, Willow, Anya, let's go see what fun and exciting event is going on in the library.  
The red haired girl (Aka Willow): I wonder if I could get some photocopies from the books on black magic.  
The other blonde haired girls(aka, Anya): ...so you can flay someone else? *Willow gave her a very hurt look*   
Anya: Anyways, I don't think they would have photocopies, but you could give me money, and I'll get a copie for you!  
Willow: Are you talking about stealing?!  
Buffy: BYE!  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione all ran for the first room they could see, which turned out to be a mistake, what they saw baffled them. On top of a desk, the saw what they percieved to be two people going at it, and I mean full blast, there were moans, groans, and indistinguishable body parts sticking out at odd angles. The next thing that they saw was what scarred them for life. Dumbledores beard and Snapes face. It was enough to send them screaming into the hallways, trying to scratch out their eyes, or at least forget, but everytime that they closed their eyes, they had an imaged transfixed of their minds of Dumbledore nibbling on Snapes ear lobe, while Snape helped Dumbledore *stand up*.  
  
They managed to staggar into their second class just as the four young adults left through a different door. It was fairly obvious to Ron, Harry, and Hermione that the quartet had gone into the office of the Defence against the dark arts class. After an awkward bunch of seconds, Harry, Ron and Hermione pulled some chairs from the multitude of them in the corner of the room. Not even half a minute had passed when the room was filled with scared looking students, hoping for an actually interesting, non-violent, non-descriminatory, nice, normal, teacher. After all the students had finally all pulled chairs from the pile, Buffy, or the girl with dirty blonde hair came out of the office. She started her begining of the year speech sounding bouncy and cheerful, which was in fact, quite different from the previous one's that they had heard,  
Buffy: Alrighty, I hope eveyone's here. My name's Buffy, I'm your new Defences teacher, now I'm not a wizard, but I am the slayer. *a few people started giving her wierd looks* Okay, so, today you'll be learning about vampires. I brought one here today, but don't worry, he's house trained *she starts laughing at the joke even though it's super obvious that no one else thinks it's funny* Okay, just wait here and I'll go and get him.  
  
She left the room for a few minutes which the students took to their advantage by all heading for the same cupboard to 'play' in. Well there got to be about ten people in this tiny little cupboard, when suddenly, and without warning, somehow, an inflatable person was thrown out, closly followed by a wand which punctured it, that was immediatly followed by a sigh from almost every person in the cupboard. At that moment the teacher came back, followed by a well built (sexy, sexy!) man with bleached blonde hair.  
Buffy: Alright everyone, this is Spike. He's a vampire, and we're going to teach you what it takes to repel a vampire.  
Spike:*looking vacant*I've been a bad man... William's been bad... *reaches for a cross necklace that a girl standing close by has on*  
Buffy:No! *grabing for his arm* Spike-*Spike gives her a puzzled look* -William, no, don't do this to yourself, not again... *talking more generally to the class now* Alright, so you might know by now that vampires can't touch crosses or be in the light, what you may not know -now you might wanna write this down, it's important, is that-  
*Snape burst into the room*  
Snape: May I have a word with you, Miss 'Summers'?  
Spike: You! You've been bad as well. Don't they see you? Don't they tell you what you've done...*trailing off.  
Xander:*suddenly runs into the room* Buff, watch out, this guy, *points to Snape* he's a vamp!  
Buffy:*gives Xander super-wierd, omg-what-r-u-doing?!-look*  
Xander: Listen, I know it sounds crazy, but I do NOT want to be another butt-monkey! No way! Not again!  
Buffy:*forgetting about the class, whips out a take she had in her desk and begins to chase Snape, trying to stake him, she almost had him staked when...  
  
  
Giles, a man with greying hair and glasses (![not hot, just super-cool]) came in and the who room froze:Buffy, what're you doing?!  
Xander:that's a vamp*pointing at Snape*.  
Giles:*taking off his glasses and cleaning them* oh my... Alright, class dismissed  
As the class left, they could hear Giles talking:*to Snape*you, sit. *to Xander*go get the headmaster....  
  
  
And so the second class was over.  
  
  
A/N, omg, that was sooooooo boring, The next classes will be way better though, i already have the weeks schedule worked out. toodles! 


End file.
